Sunday, February 10, 2013

Confession of a true

Doughnut ass..didn't start out as a doughnut ass..once it was small and firm..lady's would take second glance. .jeans were made to fit..strutting like a rooster where ever it went..and one day it happened...

Started so innocently.  Hit the break room at 9am and Carlos handed me a big pink box..now doughnuts were nothing new to me but these jewels were different. .you could see there soft tenderness..the loving glisten in there glazing. .the warm glowing tenderness flowing from there perfect shapes..size..yes it was love at first bite...

Soft sweet glazed..my first date..I mean taste..she was like a tiny piece of heavily sugar coated lust. .Chocolate cake with sprinkles..oh my heart raced..mind wondering where they had been all my life..

It started slowly..up early cruising the streets searching for my lovely soft doughy dreams..at first the effects were pure pleasure before work..then I found myself hunting my delights at lunch..then at dinner..Oh my the milk bill was so outrageous. .yet I couldn't stop..

One day I noticed the old hard Corbin gunslinger on the shovel growing softer..like it knew soft chewy was our goal..I mounted my new doughnut rake with loving care on her fender..touching the seat that still felt firm I wondered how it became so soft when I sat.

Days turned to weeks..one sunny morning after my delights. .oh and I will never forget strawberry frosted my pants button popped..shooting across my kristpy cream box about killing some old biddy..this was the day I knew I had a problem...I need some new and bigger jeans..

Just like my lovely doughnuts..well close first a dozen became two..then three..same with jeans first one size then three...this was becoming a problem..ever price jeans..and Corbin was growing oh so soft..still hard to the touch but who am I to question such a fine seat..

Then one day it happened..the doughnut shops were closed..Fucking Santa Claus I hated you that day..the withdrawal was horrendous. .death..I wanted death..I knew then it was time for a plan..after hours of deep painful thought I decided I would buy my 6 dozen daily the day before. .oh my lovelys I missed you so..

I'm writing this so it may help others..a doughnut ass is a true burden..when you realize its happened it to late..yes your belly button is still there..but your problems are behind you..no not gone away
its your ass..doughnuts go straight to your ass..quit brothers and sisters..while the door ways off life still open wide enough for your hips to slide through...or find a doughnut shop with a drive up window..that works too...enjoy..

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